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The Independent Weekly hear'say
Who was Henry Hoke?
Mad scientist or just a
really handy bloke?
"When Henry passed away
some years back, he left
behind a shed full of baffling
and enigmatic objects," says
Mark Thomson, advanced
research director at the
slightly prestigious Institute
of Backyard Studies and now
creator of a unique exhibition
of Hoke s life and times.
"With this exhibition we have
attempted to put these artefacts,
many of which appear to defy
the conventions of engineering
principles, into some sort of
order. There s Hoke s Smoke
Hammer, now a common
article in every workshop -- how
does it work? And what about
his Wooden Magnet? Or his
enigmatic Long Weight?"
The exhibition also looks at
Hoke s fascinating work as a
builder of secret weapons in
Port Adelaide during World
"My colleagues in the
have been able to partially
reassemble what we believe was
the major prototype of Henry s
Quack of Doom," says Thomson.
joint project with the US Army.
While the final project was
shelved for unknown reasons,
we are obliged to operate the
machine at a very low level as,
according to the best science of
the day, it could rip the fabric of
time and space asunder -- or give
people a nasty headache."
Much of "The Quack", like
his Befuddling Tool and his
controversial Random Excuse
Generator, seems to run on
principles beyond modern
The works of Henry Hoke
and Hoke s Tool Company are
Maritime Museum from May
21 (ex-Port Adelaide lad Brian
Dawe will do the opening
honours) until mid-August.
It s not every day the Spanish
Ministry of Culture supports
flamenco in Australia, so the
Adelaide-based flamenco dance
company Studio Flamenco is
mightily pleased with its euros
from the Spanish Government,
the Australian National
University and Arts SA to work
with respected Spanish flamenco
dancer and choreographer
Paloma G mez (left).
Gómez, originally from
Granada in Spain, performed as
principal dancer in the Ballet
Nacional de Espa a (Adelaide
Festival 2004) and Nuevo Ballet
Espa ol before establishing her
own dance company in Madrid.
"It s a real honour," says Studio
Flamenco co-founder Susi Masi.
An occasional cross-party coffee break with MP3
MP3: Penny for your thoughts?
MP4: I think the way your government behaves
MP3: I like to think we think of the common
MP4: But not exactly democratically.
MP3: I don t know what you mean
MP4: Ok, tell me who these people are.
MP3: A quiz makes me think. Try me.
MP4: Roseanne Haggerty?
MP3: Former American TV star?
MP4. Nope. Homelessness expert. Stephen
MP3: The guy in Jaws.
MP4: That was Roy Scheider. Schneider is a
climate expert. Dennis Jaffe?
MP3: French composer?
MP4: No, management specialist. Ilona
MP3: Has to be country and western?
MP4: Health adviser. Herbert Girardet?
MP3: Is he a French composer?
MP4: No, urban ecologist. Laura Lee?
MP3: I know this one. She s a soul singer.
MP4: Wrong Laura Lee. This one s an American
MP3: Okay what s the point?
MP4: We pay these people to think of our future.
MP3: I m thinking of our future. When you are
going to get the coffee?
MP4: They are the Thinkers in Residence. But
who chooses them?
MP3: The Premier. It s his pet program. Keeps
the intellectuals onside.
MP4: Professor Lee has now been given a top job
MP3: They must think she s hot stuff.
MP4: She s heading up an Integrated Design
MP3: What the hell is that?
MP4: A think-tank to look at revitalising our
MP3: Who thought that up?
MP4: She did. When she was Thinking here.
MP3: Well the job would have been advertised.
MP4: Nope. That s why you lot are amazing.
MP3: So, she must be the best person for the job.
MP4: That s exactly what your leaders said. But
how would the punters know?
MP3: You re not thinking she s anyone s
MP4: The thought hadn t crossed my mind!
MP3: Hey, thinking too much can be a bad for
MP4: I think I ll get the coffee.
MP3: Now you re thinking straight!
* Though they keep tabs on politics, MP3 and
MP4 are entirely fictional.
Hoke's famous Random Excuse
Generator used bulldust as a
"This terrifying weapon was a on display at the Port Ade
Among the most famous last
words are: "Duck? What duck?"
and now we can reveal that
"Fire!" does not always mean
pulling the trigger. Yes, it s true,
and the Australian Building
Codes Board, of which you ve
never heard, has just come up
with a national standard for
something you ve heard about
all too often. It s what to do
when someone yells: "Fire!"
"The Victorian Bushfires
Royal Commission indentified
that there were no standards for
the design of private bushfire
shelters," said codes board
chair Graham Huxley. "It
recommended a standard be
So the board has done
just that -- and come up with
probably the first building
standard anywhere in the world
for private bushfire shelters.
The first prototype bushfire shelters
were relatively unsuccessful.
The vintage is almost over
for another year. The last
of the grapes are already
off the vine and into the
and Catering SA, which
speaks for restaurateurs,
café operators, caterers and
suppliers to the hospitality
industry, has just had a win
for itself -- and for you.
Say you ve ordered a
bottle of wine with your
meal at a restaurant and
don t feel like drinking it
all. You also don t want to
leave a half-empty bottle
on the table. From last
Monday, changes to state
liquor laws mean restau-
rant patrons will be able to
take home their unfinished
bottle of wine.
Take it away
Night-time harvest at Gateway Vineyards,
Photo: Kate Elmes
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